Orchid (On-going)

There is a room on the ground floor of my home in Kuala Lumpur where my mother Shuhana prays, it is also where she keeps her art supplies, as well as being the place where she often rests during the day. Once a skilful artist, my mother hasn’t picked up a paint brush for many years. These days, instead of painting orchids, she prefers to display them and grow them in her garden. 

For as long as I can remember, orchids have been a mainstay in our home, either on canvas, or in full bloom. Recently, on my return visits to Malaysia, I have come to appreciate my mother’s love for orchids in a seemingly similar way in which she shows her love for me. For the last eight years I have been making images with Shuhana; at first, the photographs primarily served as visual records of my visits home, however over time my practice evolved into a more authentic and familial collaboration with her, forcing me to think deeper about our relationship. 

In Malay culture there are numerous cultural obligations that dictate how children engage with their parents, and over time, things remain unsaid out of respect and cultural normalcies. Like many familial relationships, there are topics between Shuhana and I that fall outside the bounds of discussion, and while I have come to accept that this is something that may stay between us forever, I am interested in how we can evolve our relationship and better understand each other as individuals.

Whilst making photographs at home, a space is created where Shuhana sees and treats me differently. The physical act of photographing changes the dynamic of our relationship, albeit for a short time, from mother and daughter to artistic collaborators. The act of photographing together brings an equalness to our relationship, one which has remained absent without a camera. It is as if the camera itself encourages her to see me as more of an adult, someone independent in my own identity, outside that of the daughter she has always known and loves. 

Through my own personal discoveries and a growing awareness of how our culture has affected my mother, I have developed an empathy for her that I haven’t had previously. I now realise that I am not the only one who feels the impacts of cultural barriers and limitations on our relationship, and that she too grapples with her own familial history and obligations. 

The act of photographing with Shuhana permits us, even for a short time, to acknowledge and celebrate the inseparable bond of being mother and daughter. Simultaneously, photography allows us to forge new ground in our relationship as individuals, at the centre of which is a deep empathy and love for each other.